My hiding place

I love writing when the moment hits me. This is something I wrote yesterday on the spur of the moment. Enjoy….

An old familiar haunting deep within my mind.
Traces of forgotten memory treating me so unkind.
Solace to peaceful refuge I find myself pining.
A safe haven within my marrow is the place I will be hiding.

Impale me with harboring reflections unbeknownst by so many.
Unaware of the actions you’ve sparked, bewildered plenty.
Leave me silent and convalescing in a realm only for me.
To mend my essence and feel safe again where only I can be.

Very Interesting

I thought I would share some interesting facts about me that some may not know… I am not an influential person, at least to the world. I may very well be prominent to my friends and family around me. I know that God has me here for a reason and I want to make the biggest possible impact I can. I have had some interesting things happen in my life that I thought I would share….

1. I have always loved music. Since the day I was born, I have loved music and many different kinds. Music entered my life as a child at church. My father lead singing at church a lot as I was growing up. No one ever taught me how to sing harmony and how to read music. Although taking piano lessons for 6 years when I was young probably helped me out a little. My father and I were know to be singing two parts at church together and in the middle of a song, we would switch. I was singing alto he was singing tenor and then we would trade parts. I was in chorus in school from jr high all the way through high school. My junior and senior year of high school I was most talented. This also lead to my sing with the Sweet Adeline’s for several years. Four-part harmony has always been part of my life, so this came naturally. With the TuneTown Show Chorus, I sang at the international chorus competition in Calgary, Canada. My father and I did most of the music for both my grandfather and grandmother’s funerals. Several of the songs we sang all 4 parts… Yes…we sang/recorded the first two parts, then we played those two parts as we recorded the other two. I love that I still have the recordings of these songs, because this was something very near and dear to me since my father is no longer with us.

2. I once had the opportunity to actually watch Michael Jordan play with the Chicago Bulls against the Cleveland Cavs. It was during the playoffs and we were on the very top row…but hey…at least I can say I was there.

3. I also was privileged to see the Great Wayne Gretzky play hockey and at the end of the game, I was actually able to touch the hockey stick he played with. (A man that was sitting down several rows in front of us was lucky enough that Wayne gave him his game stick).

4. I live in a small town, but I have been exposed to several big name people in the music industry. I have seen Trace Adkins on several occasions locally. I live, on both sides, next to music artists. On one side is Cindy Morgan, gospel artist and writer, with quite a few Dove awards under her belt. On the other is Craig Campbell, country music artist who recently hit the top 10 with his song “Keep them Kisses Comin”. It has been amazing watching him climb the country music status. I am watching him on CMT top 20 as we speak.

5. I am a military wife. My husband and I have been married for 13 years and he has been deployed for almost 6 years of those 13. I have had the privilege to travel with him with his job. The places we have been together have been Germany, France, Austria and not to mention the place in the US. It has been interesting to say the least.

So there, although I am sure many of you have seen and done many more interesting things than I have…I am proud of each and every one of these moments in my life. I plan on adding many more “firsts” as I continue this journey of life…So…how about you?

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Who said it was going to be easy?

Since my journey now consists of going back to school, my brain has been challenged. The class I am taking currently is the last elective I have to take before I hit my core classes. Math 209 is not simple…I believe I could write thousands of essays easier than I could do this not-so-simple math! I mean let’s be totally forthcoming here, where am I ever going to use the quadratic formula or adding/subtracting linear equations in real life? 😂 I have approximately 33 hours to complete my work and then I have to take my final exam…Lord please be with me! The good side to this is you have to take the bad with the good. I have to finish this class to move on the the good ones. A friend of mine tells me,”it’s like taking bad-tasting good medicine”. I will survive, I will conquer…it may not be the best grade I wanted, but I will get though it and subsist! I refuse to stress, worry or torture myself. I will do the best I can and succeed!

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Love my Kids

One thing that I know I have passed down to my children (or at least I hope I have) is passion. In any and everything you do, do it with passion! My son and his absolute bona fide love to coach women’s basketball can not be embodied quite sufficiently. At 21 years of age, he has done more than some high school coaches do in a life time. His love and ability to teach and promote via social media is mind-blowing! He currently coaches a college exposure team of high school girls who would typically not have the resources to be able to afford typical AAU teams. They do not charge players the outrageous fees to be on their team like so many others do….but they do not allow just any girls to partake. You have to have the will, drive and talent before you are chosen. I admire the obstacles he has to conquer in order to have the resources for these girls to experience and be put on exhibition for college coaches. I hope that I have made this much of an impression on others lives as he has and will in the future! See their website at #TeamSlink or follow them on Twitter @TeamSlink !

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Trying to galvanize tranquility

Since I have started my journey to a new voyage of life, going back to school, I have been so excited. But over the past week, my excitement has had hurdles that I have yet to jump over. I am taking my final class before I launch solely into my core classes. The class is MTH209!!! I can not describe the anguish I am experiencing right now in proper terms to say the least! The program makes no sense what-so-ever and be as it may the professors don’t like it either. Needless to say, I am resolved today to let go! I have done everything I can possibly do and more. So this is my focus…galvanizing tranquility!

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Cogitation from mid-life

micheldemontaigne379014Well, the 4th of July has come and gone…also in the last few days I have turned another year older! As I have briefly reflected upon recently, I have come up with 2 conclusions. The first, I am experiencing something that has only happened 4 times in my life, I am double digits. Yep that’s right if you figured correctly, I am 44 years old, which means that the other 3 times were the ages of 11, 22 and 33. This, by no means, is that big of a deal, but it was just an interesting fact that popped into my mind the other day. Secondly, as we all almost figure out eventually in life, I am getting older! I have been lucky all of my life due to the fact that I have good genes. Please don’t think that I am bragging when I say this, it is something that I have heard most of my life, and I have eventually come to accept it is what it is. I am blessed with a “I look a lot younger than what I really am” appearance. I have inherited this from my mother, who in turn inherited it from her mother and so on. I couldn’t tell you how many comments I have received over my life proving my theory…here are just a few…

1. When a parent of one of your son’s basketball players states that they thought you were your son’s girlfriend…
2. Your son comes home from school one afternoon and proceeds to tell you that one of his good friends tells him on the bus how lucky he is because his mom is “hot”!
3. (And the most recent) One of my daughter’s best friends look at me during a conversation of just how old I am this year and says “I thought you were thirty-something”.

It makes this 44 year old woman glow and smile and constantly gives me a good feeling about myself. Actually my inner goddess steps up and starts doing a swooning dance saying, “oh yea….you got this baby”! And yet there is my not-so-confident side, my child-side, that is also at the same time saying, “why do people always say this stuff when they know it is not true”. The truth of the matter, and this is my adult-side commenting, common sense would tell me…it has to be true! Therefore with reason and the constant proof, of things being said to my husband asking if I am his daughter , I have to believe I am blessed with the asset of a youthful appearance. Isn’t it amazing how we really do start accepting ourselves the way we are as we get older?

Adjustments

I haven’t written in a while. I find myself going thru changes a lot lately. Yes, I did go back to school and yes, I left my job and yes, my stress level has dropped tremendously! And yet I find my anxieties change directions…. Things that didn’t bother me before or things that maybe I had no clue about seem to bother me. Change in my life never seems to stop. I love the fact that I am able to go places and do things that I did not have the freedom to do before. But for some reason, I still get anxious when things are thrown at me last minute. Now don’t ask me why….it’s not like I have to work the next day or anything. Oh well…I will adapt……adjust……and change.

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Change

It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I have missed it. I love expressing myself this way, plus I actually learn a lot about myself as I go. I have been working on a major change in my life and hopefully in a few weeks that change will take place. I am going back to school for my Bachelor’s. I have my Associates, but my goal was always to get my Bachelor’s…..eventually….

Living and loving a military man can bring you a lot of heartache and surprises. The best thing he could have ever given me was last week when he said, “honey, I have transferred 24 months of my benefits to you”. Wow! For those of you not too keen on military lingo, I get 24 months of 100% paid for education. I am so ready and so excited. I can hardly wait! I also have to admit, I’m nervous too! It’s change. And I know we have to step outside our boundaries sometimes to get the things in life we truly want. If not, we just become a victim of the same ole same ole. I am defying gravity….I am jumping head first and I refuse to fail!

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Making a change

I look around me sometimes, with dust and dirt hanging on to crooks and crevices in my house, and wonder what is the true meaning of my life. I get in a rut, a routine of stressing myself out over things I can’t change, and all other areas in my life get put on hold. I have slowly started trying to change my outlook with 5 words…..JUST DO ONE THING DIFFERENT! Just one simple thing. It’s really easier than many people think. Example: if you drink a certain type of cream in your coffee, and you have done so every day of your coffee drinking life, try a different kind. If you, on a daily basis, drive the same exact way to work, use that GPS in your car and take a different route, just to enjoy the scenery. I do. I have 2 ways I can go to work the interstate or backroads. On any given day I may choose the countryside, which is a few minutes longer, but is so worth less traffic and the scenery is gorgeous! Yesterday I made a simple change. I gave my husband an option. He could cook breakfast (which he does quite often on weekends because he likes cooking) or vacuuming. He chose breakfast, of which was really no surprise to me. Thus starting my cleaning frenzy. After vacuuming I was inspired. I cleaned the kitchen, laundry room, powder room and started on the living room. I also allowed my husband to take a break, after he had been working so hard to help me clean the floors, to watch basketball on TV and to take a nap. I cooked him lunch and also fixed supper in the crockpot. After a day of doing so much, we sat in the living room and watched a movie. Even while watching the movie I continued to do laundry. It felt so good sitting there at the end of the day knowing I had accomplished so much. And just think….it was because I chose to do one thing different.

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Boundaries

On my journey through life, especially recently, I have learned quite a bit about myself. Things that I had no clue that I had issues with. Things that I really didn’t know were holding me back in certain areas of my life. I am growing to like myself a little more everyday (I’m not quite to the love part yet). Fear of the unknown can limit a person in so many ways. Fear of crossing over into boundaries and over walls we have created for ourselves. Really…..what is there on the other side keeping us from jumping over? Afraid of failing? Afraid of loving? Afraid of living up to someone else’s expectations? How about failing to live up to our own expectations? All we can do if this happens is pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and move on. We learn from those experiences, we grow from them and we become stronger. We will survive, we will endure and we will be better for our trials.

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