Gratification

The changes my life and body have gone through over the past few months have been amazing. I can’t begin to describe the peace I have learned to embrace with my life. I still have moments or hours where the old anxiety creeps in and tries to take over, but I refuse and it doesn’t stick around very long. Going back to school was the best choice I could have made at this point of my existence, I had come to a point in my life where I was not satisfied, I was not happy and I definitely was not being challenged. A very dear friend of mine, who has gotten me to not only question but consume everything around me, has helped me to see things in a very different way. Actually….the way I should have been thinking all along, because it is the real me. For so long, a huge part of me had learned and completely believe lies that I had been telling myself. That I had to be stronger than I was and I had to put on a face that I was okay…even when I wasn’t. A lot of this I contribute to being a military wife. Many times I had to deal with problems when no one else was around. But one thing I have learned, I don’t have to do it alone. And it is ok to feel weak, sad, angry, emotional, scared, alone….and so much more. I am not a bad person if I feel all these things. It is when you accept these emotions you realize that you are stronger than you think. Obtaining the fact that I am allowed to feel these things and people love you more when you are real about your issues. The peace that I feel through my entire being is nothing like I have ever felt. Calm, loving, giving, compassionate and more are the perceptions that fill my entire being. I continue my education, I am continuing my degree, but neither one takes precedence over the other. My goal is to learn something every day. And I don’t mean education wise. I will learn something that enriches my life and helps me to grow as a person everyday.

 

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