Becoming Aware

I learned a new word today…somaesthesia! Yes I did not misspell it and auto correct did not make a mistake… I love learning new words and definitions. I have an app on my phone that gives me a word of the day and I love it. When I learn something new that allows me to express or explain myself in a different way, I feel like I have accomplished something. The difference in this new word is the actual definition of the word:
1. The perception of tactual or proprioceptive or gut sensations
2. The faculty of bodily perception; sensory system associated with the body; includes skin senses and proprioception and the internal organs

I’m going to give my own interpretation of these definitions. I have intuitions or “gut feelings”. One example I will use is at work…many times a day I have to call our scheduling dept. On any given day there are probably a certain 5-6 people that answer the phone. I typically can guess who is going to answer my call about 80-90 percent of the time. Something else we hear of quite often is “mother’s intuition”. Us mothers get that feeling when something is not right with one of our children. Now I am going to take it a step deeper…. I am learning more and more daily how to decipher my inner feelings. For most of my life and due to many factors in my life, I have felt as if I have had to be strong. I didn’t allow myself to feel my sadness. I sucked it up in order to save others. Because of this cover up, I automatically pushed myself into anger mode. I didn’t allow myself to feel my sadness, discouragement or unhappy emotions. Retraining my brain to learn that it is ok to feel sadness is not simple. Although, I am taking one day at a time and becoming more and more aware of somaesthesia within me. I am finding out that even though these feelings inside are not always pleasant I am so much happier with the woman I am becoming, the woman God intended for me to be!



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