Lazy day Sunday

I haven’t really done much today…every now and then I will get an idea to sit down and work on something, but then that inspiration goes away. Growing older…not that I am that old…but a 40 something doesn’t make me that old, gives you a realization that life changes every day. I look in the mirror and see another wrinkle that wasn’t there the day before or a glance that makes me look more like my mother (not that my mother looks old 😉 ) or the fact that my son is in college and before you know it will be 20 years old. This could become very depressing. I see things in life that I intend to do and still haven’t accomplished or that I still have plans of accomplishing but have yet to have the time and energy to accomplish them. I have all my tax information sitting right here next to me, once again intending on doing them, but I have yet to start them…..sigh! I find myself on Facebook or Twitter and nothing I was going to do gets done…So many times I have to find things that encourage me or a friend to say something to lift me up and keep me going. There was a time in my life, I was the one that was the strong shoulder to lean on, I could withstand anything, but now…now I find myself becoming weak at times. The word really to use here is….tired….whether it is at work or at home….I get tired. I look at my life and no road has ever ended up where I set out for it to go…I wonder to myself, am I going where God wants me to go or am I going where Jeanna wants to go? Thoughts go thru my mind of things from the past that I wish I could go back and change, because if I had it to do all over again there are times I would have stood up for what I believed in and wanted and there are times I would have backed off when I was going full speed ahead! What ever way the future goes, I pray it is God’s will and that he guides me all the way!!


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